journ 11/20
some ground rules
“ground tools”
some ground tools
read me slow
and liberally
choosewhat to make
of me
don’t let me be
how you see me
i might not know
my own mystery
the power of eyes
is deceiving
i see you jump
your conclusions
met to / with ease
self regulating
choose your own
adventure / safety in certainty
on your insides
be unafraid
of not knowing
/ me / you / .
if you know what i mean
my words
are learning to
let go of
catastrophes in me
that i have reasoned
my way through
with you, in me, arguing
so sorry, so sorry
for my leaking
residue
let me be a stranger with you please
i know you too well
for my own good
i have me acting against myself
and on worst days blaming you—
have me acting against myself– “no”
tripping over
you– “no”
fucking hell
tripping over you fucking– “no”
tripping over me
you fucking– “no”
—on some days blaming you
tripping over “you” and me
for my own good
i know you, too, well
let me be a stranger
with you, please
sex is better
with a sensitivity
to the shape
of uncertainty
in love & consent
first is to find family
the ones who know
where tears are shameless
where the children in us
are dancing in clouds
“mud clouds”
dancing in mud clouds