it hurt again, the river
when i didn’t listen
when my heart spoke
when i’m freezing over
shame bubbles magma
i’m the uncertainty’s floor
too hot to handle yet
i feel so exposed, yet
i bottle up like la croix
loved by ohio
so who am i to shake you up
i am just scared of being vulnerable
and that’s just news without love
i mean
without love, that’s just news
an invitation with love
i suppose love always comes
with invitation
but, love, i’m scared of crossing
your lines
somehow my judgment
balloons like sandpaper
meaning, it burns
don’t force my hand
i’m holding my gentleness back
like “let me at ‘em!”
sanding down my outer walls
maybe a happy little barn door next
in the back
a little van dyke brown, what de heck
don’t forget!
beat the devil out of it first
i didn’t expect it
shame like tweezers
coming from both sides
until you’re croaking like a frog
without a word
scared of the fly
trying to excise it from the sky
but i’m the problem, you say
the fly is just being a fly
and here i am on a tantrum
to eradicate a metaphor from my skin
these words are not light unless
i bring it
i am so impressed by you
who without need for certainty
choose and invite
i thought i had wiggle room yet
i am somehow closeted
and forgot the cargo i’m carrying
precious
grief needs milk not milking
maybe a good simmering
my word does not command
i’m not that kind of authoritative
it’s more like
there’s the light!
every once in a while
like my older brother
like my exes ghosting
all i know is
i don’t want to be alone today
and i am making fixins
